I Hate That I Iove You
by gilmoregirls20002007
Summary: Was OneShot "I Hate That I Love Him". Two part. Rory and Logan's thoughts on their no strings arrangement.
1. Chapter 1

**Ok So you're all thinking "Stop writing new stories, and update the ones you already have!" Right? lol. But I have many ideas and many stories that I type up but never post cuz I dont htink they're good enough. So i decided to post this one. It's definielt not one of my best, I thought of it and typed it up in about 20 minutes. But I hope you enjoy it!**

I hate the number of times his phone rings while were together. Him never answering them just makes me sure that its one of _his girls_ wanting to know when they can go out next. But we all know where that leads, to the exact same place it leads when we go out. His bed.

I hate that I even do it to myself and go out with him in the first place. I am the one who ends up hurt, asking myself why I am not good enough for him. Why I am not_ enough_ for him. But it was my idea in the first place _"Girls just wanna have fun, string less fun."_ I'm not having fun, though. Well, not when its all over and I'm wondering what he's doing. Even though I already know the answer, I try and tell myself that maybe I'm wrong. I doubt it.

I hate that I melt when he smiles at me. He can make me do anything with that smile. He makes me be someone completely different when he smiles at me and I find myself so happy, so content, so ready to take on the world as long as here's there, until I snap out of it and realize that he wont always be there. This is just a fling, something casual. Something that's supposed to be fun. But then when he gets bored it will be over. _We_ will be over. But there is no we. There never has been, and there definitely never will be.

I hate that when he looks at me he makes me feel like I'm the only girl in the word. Most importantly the only girl in _his _world. But then I remember that he makes so many other girls feel like there the only girl in the world. He treats them each like a queen when he is with them. And makes them feel so special. He has always been like that with me.

I hate that I let myself cry over him. I have never let myself cry over a guy that wasn't even my guy before. But I always end up crying. And after every time I'm with him, I tell myself its going to be the last. But it never is.

And most of all, I hate that I love him.

**Please review and let me know your thoughts. Thanks!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Ok, so I had a request to add Logan's thoughts. And I thought about it and typed this up. I think that Rory's are better, my opinion. But I hope you enjoy. Gilmore7, this is dedicated to you! ;)**

I hate that I end up thinking about her no matter where I'm at and no matter who I'm with. When I'm with other girls, or just when I'm with my friends. It seems like I am constantly thinking about her. I cant help but compare all the other girls to her. None of them have ever measured up to Ace, to _my _Ace. I'm sure none of them ever will.

I hate that I want to be with her, and only her. But I know that I will more than likely screw it up. And I don't want to hurt her. And hey, I don't want to get hurt either. Although , surprisingly, I think I already am. This thing with her was supposed to be like the thing I have going with every other girl I'm with, fun and uncomplicated. Something that if it was over tomorrow I wouldn't even care about. But I think about it and realize that if _we _were over tomorrow, I have no idea what I would do with myself.

I hate that I wish I could be that perfect guy for her, the guy she deserves. The guy that will treat her like a queen. And a guy who will always be there for her. Someone who she can trust completely and rely on. Someone who she wont have to worry about if they will still be there in the morning. Someone completely opposite of me that's for sure.

I hate that she has this power over me. This power to make me break the rules that I set for myself. I have never broken a rule for any other girl, ever. But here comes this girl who doesn't care if her clothes are in style, who actually attends class, who reads because she thinks its fun and so many other things that would have been a huge turn off for me any other time, but I found myself completely attracted to her. She stood up for herself and didn't care who I was, she would put me in my place and tell me that I was wrong. She didn't care how much money I had, and she didn't care if I liked her or not. And I knew at that moment that I had to have her. That I couldn't live without her.

And most of all, I hate that I have let myself get to this point where I am falling in love with her.

**Review, please.**


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